“Women, especially unmarried women, are often told they shouldn’t dream big.
We’re told that we should stick to what’s ‘manageable’, ‘realistic’ or ‘believable’ and many of us end up being too conservative in our goals.” Says Naomi.
She’s sitting in her airy, light filled, Bondi Beach apartment, sipping a post mix Coke Zero at 10 in the morning.
“But I didn’t want to be just OK, scraping in by the skin of my teeth. I wanted the story of the straight white guy that’s done well for himself.
You know the one. He always comes out unscathed, he’s financially independent, he doesn’t need to rely on anyone else. I wanted that level of independence without feeling like I needed to get married, and you know what? I’ve done it.”
Naomi’s a 38 year old marketing executive and, four years ago she had a realisation.
“I thought to myself, OK, I’m a single woman without a huge desire to get married and, I’m not going to have kids – that’s an opportunity. I don’t need to spend the rest of my life just coasting, I can be a success story. I have a great job, I make good money, why aren’t I doing anything super special with it?”
For Naomi, the realisation of that dream would be supported by three key pillars; home ownership, ‘fuck you’ money (more on that later) and freedom from bill anxiety.
She didn’t just achieve them, she aced them.
I didn’t feel bad. I felt lazy.
“Yeah, look, I wasn’t in a fantastic starting position” Naomi says.
“I’d run up a bit of credit card debt, I didn’t have much savings, but I had a great job that paid well. So, it didn’t bother me that much. It wasn’t like I was lying awake at night anxious.
But I was also thinking ‘if anything happens, if I don’t want to be at this job or have this career anymore, then I’m stuffed.’
I didn’t feel bad, I felt lazy.
It actually felt a little bit like tax return. You know how it lays over your head all year round and then right before the next year is due, you do it? It was like that but with my entire financial situation. It was disorganised and, I’m sure a lot of people will understand, that made me anxious. Like, ‘why haven’t I bothered to sort this out yet?’
Naomi made it to her early thirties and decided she was going to do something about it.
“It sucks to say this, but a lot of financial advisers only deal with the husband, wife, two kids and a picket fence situation. Many are only interested in you if you’re already rich and want to work out how you’re going to save for the private school fees and a yacht.
Obviously, that wasn’t right for me. So, I looked elsewhere.
What does it mean to be safe?
I knew that Glen (Co-founder at Fox & Hare Financial Advice) was one of the few advisers working with people who ‘look’ like me. I also knew that Fox & Hare’s style was centred on finding out what makes you happy – so, I went to the website and filled out the form.”
Naomi had never worked with a financial adviser but, because she worked in the industry, had a lot of exposure to personal finance products and providers.
“It was a bit like that old saying ‘hairdressers always have the worst hair cut’” she explains.
“Because I was marketing financial products all day, I didn’t want to think about financial services or money outside of work.
But the conversations I had with Glen were so far away from that.
We spoke about what was going to make me happy. What was going to make me feel secure. I’d say, ‘I want to feel safe’ and we’d talk about what that meant in reality.
We worked out that it came down to three things; home ownership, ‘fuck you’ money and freedom from bill anxiety.
The first feels quite obvious. I’d feel so much more secure in my own place. But there was another layer there, too. I wanted my dream place; I wasn’t content to just ‘make do’ and be satisfied with some shitbox.
Second, to be secure I’d need to be debt free – with savings. I’d need a good amount of what I call ‘fuck you’ money. That’s a pool of cash set aside for an emergency; if I ever ended up working somewhere that didn’t align with my values or culture, I wanted to be able to just say ‘fuck you’ and leave. So, I’d never have to be trapped at a job or in some other situation that I hated or made me feel unsafe.
Finally, I didn’t want to be worrying about bills.
I’ve had a lot of exposure to the fact that unmarried women over fifty are one of the poorest demographics in Australia. Even though they’ve been working their whole lives they still don’t have financial independence and they’re working just to make ends meet. I didn’t want to end up getting by by the skin of my teeth, having bills coming in and thinking to myself ‘Gosh, how am I going to pay this?’
It felt like a lot and, as I said, women, especially single women, are told that we shouldn’t dream big, that we should play it safe. So, it was a surprise when Glen and team said ‘yep, we can do it.’”
And just like that, they got started.
“Holy Moley.. How am I supposed to live off this? ”
The first thing Naomi noticed was a string of little wins.
“We built a system of ‘buckets’, with allocated funds for different parts of my life.
So, like, we had a short term bucket for my guilt free spending money, we had a long term bucket for my property, ‘fuck you’ money and debt repayments, plus a medium term bucket for things like holidays.
On pay day, every dollar would automatically get sorted into its appropriate bucket and it was the best thing. 4 years later and I still automatically live by this sort out method.
I started JUST spending the money in the guilt free bucket and, all of a sudden, these short, medium and long term goals all started happening. I remember thinking to myself ‘oh shit! I can save! I can actually pay down my credit card without dipping back into it!’
My mindset shifted, and suddenly, everything seemed possible. I hadn’t realised I’d been lacking confidence, the whole time I’d been doubting my ability to sort out my finances and it felt like all of that changed overnight.
The Fox & Hare approach is not about shaming or fear-mongering, but about empowerment and encouragement. “We focus on the possibilities” Says Glen Hare, Co-founder of Fox & Hare Financial Advice and Naomi’s financial adviser. “We listen to what our members want out of their lives, give them a definitive pathway for getting there and support them along the journey.”
Naomi’s experience exemplifies this approach,
“Some people can be shamed into making better decisions like they rule their life with fear,” Naomi observes. “But I’m the opposite. I can’t be hated or shamed into doing something. I have to feel like I’ve been encouraged into it.
Glen was insane with that.
He’d use software to forecast what my life could look like if I stuck to the plan for a certain period. I’ll never forget this conversation we had early on where I was saying how much I’d need to spend every week and he said ‘can you stretch it over a month?’
My first reply was a flat ‘no’. But then he was like ‘Naomi’ and he said it straight up ‘if you can make that number work you’ll be able to buy that house’. I’ll never forget it because that’s what drove me every time.
Whenever I’d think ‘how am I supposed to live off this for a week he’d pop into my head. I’d say to myself ‘no. Glen’s told me I can do this. I can and I will.’
And she did.
“I was confronted with a harsh reality. “
The first major win was a debt free, dream holiday.
“Usually, I’d book a holiday and then just scalp and scrounge the cash together from the pay cheque before I go. This time the money was all just sitting there ready to go.
I’d said to Glen that I wanted to have a good eight grand for a holiday twice a year,” she says.
“So, when that money first landed it my account it was a totally new feeling for me. I was able to just book wherever I wanted, buy whatever I wanted, and I didn’t look at my credit card once.
It was me and one of my girlfriends and we had the time of our lives. We stayed at the W, which is somewhere I’d never have been able to stay before! But this time we did it in style. And I didn’t feel guilty once.
Cause it was money I’d saved. I wasn’t spending tomorrow’s blessing today and it was like ‘I’ve worked hard for it, I’ve achieved it, I’ve saved it and now I’m going to enjoy spending it!’”
Naomi’s feelings about money and life changed rapidly over the following years.
“I was so surprised because all these good things were happening, but my salary stayed the same for like two or three years. I had to stop and readjust how I thought about money and life.
Until that point, whenever I’d been in a tough spot financially, the first thought had always been ‘get more money’. It was the first time I saw that ‘more’ wasn’t necessarily the key to my happiness. I was confronted with the reality that I already had the key to my happiness I just had to organise it in a better way.
I learned to love myself in a finance way!”
“He told me to fuck off.”
In the background, the dream of owning a home loomed large.
“I’ll never forget the day I called up Glen with the news: ‘I’ve got a surprise for you. I just bought a place in Bondi!’ His response was hilarious, he was like ‘fuck off!’ I said ‘I have and it’s because of you!’ I told him I’d never have made it without him and we both started crying. I will never forget it.
I know it’s just an object but it means so much more than that to me. Like I said, I wanted to feel financially safe and independent without needing to rely on anyone.
I never wanted to find myself in the situation where I was dependent or I felt trapped and for me that’s what this place represents. Me building a safe space for myself that nobody can take away but myself.
I wake up sometimes and I’m like ‘what the hell am I even doing here?’
I still have these moments where I’m in total disbelief. If you’d asked me four years ago, I’d have set my goals so much lower. I don’t think I’d ever have believed something like was possible if it wasn’t for Glen showing me it was.
He probably doesn’t even think it was a big deal but I have a totally different perception of myself and what I am capable of.
The woman who signed up to Fox and Hare? I don’t even remember her,” Naomi reflects.
Red wine, cigarettes and second hand book shops.
“I don’t even remember what it feels like to doubt myself anymore. My confidence is so much better and my outlook for the future is so much more positive.
Not that it was bleak before, but it was, I was conservative, whereas now my outlook for the future is boldly positive.”
Looking ahead, Naomi’s dreams are bigger and brighter than ever.
“I’m already like, I want to buy the whole building,” she laughs.
“My mom said, just start with the top floor first Naomi ‘do yourself a penthouse’.”
“That’s a joke but I can’t help thinking about it seriously. Before I would have thought ‘ohh I’m lucky to have just one little place and that’ll be fine. Now I’m thinking ‘well, once I pay this down, and I will do it sooner than the loan term, what’s next?’
It’s no longer just so I can retire with safety. It’s let’s knock 10 years off it.
I’ve told Glen, and it’s probably true, I’ll be the woman who owns the second-hand bookstore, drinking red wine and smoking cigarettes at 10am – like Bernard Black. I’ll have a retirement filled with the people and things that I love. I’ll be enjoying my time and doing the stuff that brings me the most personal pleasure, satisfaction and pleasure.
You know, a fantasy is something you think about when you’re trying to get to sleep on a Sunday night – when you’ve got the Sunday scaries.
A dream is something you think about when you’re going to bed at night. But a goal is something that’s going to happen.
And so, this ideal life is no longer a fantasy or a dream to me, it’s a goal. It’s in my head and it’s going to happen by hook or by crook.
I’ve got the confidence that it’s going to happen.
Fox & Hare can help you, too.
Are you, like Naomi, ready to take the next steps toward the life you aspire to? If yes, reach out to Fox & Hare for a free virtual coffee catch up.
We have helped hundreds of 20-45 year olds unlock their potential and find the freedom, security and stability they deserve.
We can assess your current financial world – and give you 100% clarity on how to:
- Pay down debts
- Save to buy a home
- Quit work for a career change / start a business
- Achieve financial freedom
With clear, reliable and realistic time frames.
If you want to be debt free? We can tell you exactly how long that will take. If you want to own a home? We can tell you how long that’ll take too. Want to start a family? We can tell you down to the day.
So, if you want to put an end to that feeling of unease “when will I be able to buy a home?” “when will I be debt free?” “will I ever feel financially secure?” Hit “Book now!” and claim your free virtual coffee with our Member Success Manager, Will today.
Book now!
About Fox & Hare:
The company was Founded in 2017 by two former Macquarie execs. Fox & Hare aims to empower and educate Australians in the wealth accumulation phase of their life journey. Through the provision of a safe, inclusive and accepting environment, they’ve built a diverse and devoted following of 20- 40 somethings. Members come from many backgrounds, abilities and genders. The organisation and its co-founders have featured in the AFR, Equity Mates and Sydney Morning Herald. They have been included in Financial Standard’s Power 50 and Glen Hare was voted Australia’s best Financial Adviser for 2024.
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